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Writer's pictureJ.E.Wright

Mother's Day Debrief

Updated: Jun 21, 2019

Being aware that everyone's experience with mother's day is unique, I felt compelled to debrief with those who were holding their breath in anticipation for the weekend to pass.


While holidays bring immense joy to some, it leaves others with a painful void. Mother’s Day is not exempt.

As I scrolled through my timeline of tributes to mothers, it made me consider the ambivalence of those who cannot relate to the presence of a doting, supportive, or loving mother. There are children who approach this day with frustration as they cannot find cards to appropriately expresses their indifference or resentment.


To these children, when the one person in your life assigned to protect and nurture is the one who causes the deepest pain, it may be difficult to cope. Attachment and stable relationships begin with a mother’s bond but it is possible to repair a potential damaged sense of self, or need for belonging, with the support of counseling. Meeting with the right counselor can help you begin to repair any damage this type of upbringing may have caused, while acknowledging the strengths of your survival.


Additionally, children of mother’s who are sick or who have passed on, I hope you can use this time to honor your mother's memory, cherish the time you had or currently have, and seek the love and support of loved ones.


Mother's day is a wonderful opportunity to exalt mothers but for children who cannot partake in the shared excitement this holiday brings, find a way to honor yourself, acknowledging your strength and ability to survive. If you are struggling with your pain, continue to honor yourself by seeking the support of a mental health provider who may support you through your healing.


For the sake of empathy, keep in mind that again, holidays do not evoke joyous emotions for everyone, so approach holidays carefully and be careful not to impose your experiences on others. The experience is not always one-size-fits-all and may serve as a painful reminder of loss and abandonment.



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