As we get older our circles tend to dwindle down. If you were a teen or young adult with a massive crew of friends, you may notice at age 30 you have a core group of 3-4 maybe even one solid folk(s) to enjoy the warm summer months with.
The diminishing friend selections may not necessarily relate to strife in your friendships but possibly due to the following:
Differences in interests. As we get older, our interests change. Your single friend’s desire to squeeze into heels and stand on long lines to a nightclub may no longer interest you, when you’d prefer a night getting drinks and catching up at a bar. You may be a GOT hater and refuse to socialize with anyone who tunes in to preserve your cynical and too cool and controversial reputation.
Some changes are due to time and scheduling conflicts. No matter how you try, you and your friend just cannot get your schedules in order for various reasons.
Don’t let Instagram ruin your friendships, suggesting you cut people off who don’t make time for you. Yes, you make time for who is important but it’s ok to give the benefit of the doubt when the intentions are not malicious.
As we age, so do our parents and you may find yourself in the role of caregiver and no longer have access to a great amount of time to connect with friends. Additionally, many of our peers in this phase of our lives have children and significant others who have first priority to our time. In both scenarios, however, make sure you are setting aside time for yourself and your self-care. I address self-care in several of my blog posts.
Lastly, let’s face it, getting older doesn’t mean you are a complete bore, but there is a level of tiredness that accompanies you in your 30’s. I can barely make it through a movie now and what we in the Caribbean call “dropsy” cannot be fought and won. Sometimes the use of free time is best utilized on your sofa with the laundry and the dishes untouched.
These changes in your friend’s availability can be frustrating and it can be a challenge to avoid taking it personally, but from the mind of an only child (yes that’s me), look at your solitude as a blessing.
Enter this life transition gracefully, and get used to spending time with the most fascinating person in the world…. You!
Additionally, here are a list of things to do solo if you live in the NY area. Enjoy!
#solitude #friendships #gettingolder #30s #loneliness #depression #anxiety #stressors #caregiver #roles #notime #alone #connecting #mentalhealth #wellness #selfcare
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